Conversations we’re missing…(Week 2: ‘At funerals’)

Continuing this occasional series (last week: GAA), PAUL HEALY laments another of the absent conversations of…the last twelve months. This is what we’ve been missing!

 

The scene: Outside a funeral home (two men queuing)

Not a bad evening…

No, grand…and I wouldn’t mind, but there was rain promised…

Well, as long as it holds off while we’re here, we’ll be happy enough! I left an umbrella in the car…

Same here!

How are ye all in (insert townland/town)?

Ah sure we’re grand, not getting any younger…

None of us are! I see ye are still in the football…

Oh just about!

Who are ye playing next?

Clann, we’ve Clann on Saturday evening.

Won’t be easy!

No, but sure we’ll turn up…

This man (the deceased) was some character…

Ah…a great bit of stuff…

What age was he?

I don’t know. A few of us were talking about that…sure he had to be in his late 60s…?

I’m nearly that myself! I heard 72 mentioned.  

Too young these days. Was it three sisters and two brothers he had?

Yeah, I think so…two of them are in England, and Teresa is in Mayo and…

…the two brothers are married to two sisters…

That’s right, you have it in one!

Great people…

Oh, the finest…did you see him lately?

Do you know something, I don’t think I saw him in about two years…

Sure everyone’s so busy these days…

Yeah…we hardly know our neighbours any more…

I know, one time you’d know everyone on your road…

Ah, it’s all changed.

At least this is moving along fairly nicely now…

Ah not too bad, another few minutes and we’ll be inside…

God be good to him anyway…

Well now you said it…a pure gentleman…anyways, great chatting you…

Good man, enjoyed the chat! Best of luck against Clann!

 

(Second man steps into funeral home; first man nudges a neighbour)

 

Sorry Mike, got caught up there. That fella I was talking to…I can’t for the life of me put a name on him…

(Mike): Ah sure he’s Johnny…oh what’s his second name? From near Boyle…sure you know him well…

Oh sure I know him well to see, I was chatting to him about football and everything. I played along anyway, made him none the wiser! What’s this he does?

He’s a bit of a carpenter, I think…

Ah, a grand fella…

Oh, the finest.

What age would he be? Is he married?