Boris & Carrie, Clifford, Joey from Friends…and the pub bore!
So, how was your weekend, my friend?
Great! Particularly Saturday…
Why so happy? Oh, I’m guessing it was the weather on Saturday…
Not just the weather…
I mean, there was also the special occasion! Magical! The Champions League Final?
No, not that…I was glued to all the tit-bits of information about THE BIG EVENT!
The glamour, the romance, the excitement!
Is Love Island back, is it Love Island?
Are Daniel and Majella on the road again?
No, the wedding! Boris and Carrie!
Boris Johnson, he secretly married his sweetheart, Carrie Symonds!
Oh for God’s sake!
Was the man of the moment there?
David Clifford? But he was preparing for the Rossies…
No, Dominic Cummings!
(They pause to wonder who spent longest having their hair done, Boris or Carrie, and very quickly resume their conversation)
Anyways, did you watch the TV event of the week?
Yes, and I thought Chelsea deserved to win the Champions League Final.
No, not THAT!
The Friends Reunion, that’s what!
Oh that! What brought them back together? Sentiment? Friends-hip? An appreciation that life is short?
Eh…they got five million dollars each to take part!
Gosh, I’d sign up for a reunion with the pub bore for half that!
(They pause to accept they’ve actually missed the pub bore, sort of)
We kept good tabs on him! We slowed his almost inevitable world domination!
We curbed his genius…
I’ve never heard you speak of the pub bore in such terms!
Not the pub bore! Clifford! David Clifford! The Rossies kind of curtailed him, we kept him to 1-4, and two of those points were frees!
Yeah, I know we lost, but Roscommon played some great stuff on Sunday…
Yeah, against the mighty Kerry! It was encouraging!
Both: Roll on the championship!
(They pause to consider how high the bar is with David Clifford when 1-4 is considered a modest return)
Who’s your favourite? Is it the charmer? The funny one?
Realistically it’s Boris. Look, I’m sure Carrie’s lovely, but obviously I know more about Boris…
No, not THEM! The cast of Friends! Which of them is your favourite?
Well it’s got to be Joey, seeing as he became a Twitter hit in Ireland over the weekend!
His pose! He was sitting back, arms folded… Twitter had a field day! The wiseguys reckoned he looked just like a typical Irish dad!
A very rich Irish dad!
(They pause to hum the theme music of Friends)
So, just over a month to go…
‘Til we’re back! In our local!
Yeah, can’t wait!
We can talk about Boris and Carrie, David Clifford, Joey too!
Think it was your round…
We’ll even welcome that reunion with the pub bore…
I can just imagine it…we’ll ask him how life’s been over the past year, what he thinks of Covid, whether he has any theories on it…he may even have a view on the cyber attack…
Both: Oh dear!