Barstool Boyos

OMG! What an MMM! Or do I have to spell it out for you? 

Hey, I couldn’t make contact with you! What’s up? It’s not like you’re busy!

I was on the phone all morning!


No, don’t ask me…no details, I’m too exhausted!

I DIDN’T ask you!

Okay, if you insist…


I was trying to book a place! What an MMM it’s been!


What an MMM! Didn’t you know, it’s all acronyms these days!


You know…using letters, rather than full words! Like OMG and FYI and GOAT and so on! 

Like on LOD?


Line of Duty…

Oh yeah!

Anyways, what’s an MMM?

Oh, a marathon mobile morning! MMM! MARATHON MOBILE MORNING. I was on the phone all morning!

Yeah, you said…

Yeah, trying to make a booking!

Any luck?


You’re excited…with so many restrictions being lifted?

Of course I am! Aren’t you?


(There’s a slightly awkward pause as they both privately admit to themselves that that which they have wished for – the reopening of society – may also lead to some social anxiety) 


Well I’m glad for you…


Glad you were able to book a place, for later in the summer. I know demand is going to be crazy. It’s been a long year… 

Ta, my friend!

After all, YOLO. 

Eh, sorry?

You only live once! It’s an acronym!

Oh, now YOU’RE at it!


By the way?

Yeah! Easy one!

Hey, did I detect some reluctance on your part…regarding the lifting of so many restrictions?

Well, you know…I’m a little bit nervous about the return to normal. I’m sure many of our readers are too…

But we’ve been suffering, all of us…surely we all want normality to return? Surely we welcome the light at the end of the tunnel?

Yeah, I know, I know…but there will be some social anxiety. I mean, we’ve been in that tunnel for over a year, are we sure the light won’t dazzle us? 


Thank you!

Hey my friend, I know what you mean…but let’s approach this reopening steadily…let’s embrace the great things about this semblance of normality returning, while also making positive lifestyle changes based on what we’ve learnt during the pandemic. 


Thank you!


(They pause to commemorate one of the few times anything profound was said in one of their conversations) 


Just thinkin’…



In my opinion?

Yeah…life will be very boring if acronyms take over. 

They won’t!

They’ve taken over LOD…

Yeah, but they won’t IRL…

In real life?


But they are!


Not actually…eh…HANDSOME?


What’s NAH an acronym for? 

Look, not everything I say is an acronym! It’s just NAH!

Oh, good!



(They pause to allow a slightly embarrassing moment pass) 


Anyways, I got to make the booking…

Oh yeah, forgot all about that! Is the whole family going?

Eh…no…just me. 

Just you?


Oh, precious, aren’t we? Did you get a nice place?

Eh…yeah…it’s a grand spot. 

You’ll have a bit of craic…


West of Ireland? Donegal? Kerry?

NO! I don’t have to go THAT far! In town! 

REALLY? You’ve booked a staycation, a hotel break…IN TOWN?

I never said anything about booking a hotel break….I was all morning trying to book an appointment in a barber shop!