Barstool Boyos -3rd of Sept

It’s SO exciting! The superstar is back! Just hope he doesn’t start preening again!

Oh it’s just SO exciting!

Huh?

HE’S REALLY BACK!

Huh?

Back in the sporting spotlight! Centre stage again!

Oh yeah…HIM…

He’s been relatively quiet for a few years…by his standards…maybe even the odd suggestion that he’s past it…

Mmnn…I dunno, he may not be the force he once was, but he still scores!

Oh yeah, he still scores, but he’s definitely not at the peak of his powers!

Okay…

Which is PRECISELY WHY his return to the centre stage is SO EXCITING!

Okay, I get you now!

He’s a sporting God!

Absolutely!

And now the brash genius is centre stage again…commanding all the headlines, reminding us of his glory years…!

Yeah, it’s been an exciting few days alright…

I mean, at his best, he was unstoppable!

Yeah, racing down the wing…

DANCING down the wing!

Had defenders twisting one way, then the other…

Gave defenders nightmares!

 

(They pause to fantastise about the gazelle-like freak of nature in all his pomp)

 

Now he’s back where he belongs! What a sporting story!

I agree!

Okay, he slowed down as the years went by – mellowed even – I actually thought he was finished!

Nah, sure even as the years passed he was still hitting the target!

Mmnn…

Anyways, I agree with your basic point, which is that he’s back as the centre of attention! We’re talking about him! It’s a reminder that we’re merely living in his crazy world!

Yes!

I can’t wait to see him in his next outing…

Same here!

I just hope he doesn’t do any of that preening he’s prone to…you know, when he just stands there, hands outstretched, posing like a peacock…

Yeah, all ‘Look at me, ain’t I something special’…

Yeah! But no doubt, now that he’s centre stage again, we’ll see a bit of that. He’ll do that look to camera, he’ll put his hands out, he’ll simply DEMAND our attention!

It’s part of the package…

Exactly!

 

(They pause to visualise their hero in full preening mode, a physical specimen imbued with extraordinary self-belief)

 

You know he became a cult?

Absolutely!

We’re just lucky to have lived in his time…

Agreed! Just one question…is he really worth the money he’s being paid? I mean, he’s not the performer he was…

He’s worth ANY money! Look, I did begin this by saying he hasn’t been the force he was. If anything, he was almost becoming irrelevant. But the point is, HE’S BACK NOW! He’s a sporting icon, and he’s back!

Yeah, let’s just celebrate him…

EXACTLY!

Ronaldo! Cristiano Ronaldo! You are THE MAN! A sporting God! You defy time! You are back at Manchester United! You’re back in the spotlight!

Ronaldo? Ronaldo?

Yeah, Ronaldo…we have been talking about Ronaldo, haven’t we?

Eh, no…I was talking about Pat Spillane. He’s back on form after years of either ‘Parody Pat’ or ‘Past It Pat’. Pat was awesome against Sean Cavanagh on RTE last Saturday. Pat’s rolling back the years, it’s magic!

Both: Let’s hear it for Spillan-do!