Barstool Boyos – 25th of June

Passwords. Codes. Log in details. Favourite movie? You must be joking!

I JUST CAN’T REMEMBER!

Huh?

Seriously! My favourite movie! There are just too many things to remember!

I don’t understand…

It seems like every day I’m being quizzed, and my mind can’t cope!

Do you remember what you can’t remember?

Eh…YES!                                                           

 

(They pause, to allow the slight tension to ease before it becomes slightly more than slight)

 

The other day…

Yes?

I couldn’t access my bank account online!

Why?

I couldn’t remember the code thing-y!

Oops!

Then my wife reminded me of the digits…

Great!

But by then my laptop needed charging and when I went to turn it back on…

You couldn’t remember your password?

Exactly!

 

(They pause to wave at a parcel delivery guy who was too tired to wave back at them) 

 

Anyways, I went to buy a new mobile the other day…

Great!

NO! It was a nightmare…

Why so?

I was trying to get an upgrade…

Yeah…

But then the questions started…AND I COULDN’T REMEMBER EVERYTHING!

Surely just your name, address, maybe a password/security number…

Yeah, security details that related back to answers I’d given them when I bought my previous iphone!

AND?

Well, that previous time, they’d asked me questions that only I was likely to know the answer to…

Your mother’s maiden name?

You got it!

So?

But also, what’s my favourite movie!

So?

How was I supposed to remember what I told them the last time?!

 

(They pause to help link the poor parcel delivery man to his front door after he decided to call it a day)

 

Every day it’s the same!

Huh?

Passwords. Codes. Log in details. Account details. Sort codes. It’s a nightmare!

You should write them down!

I did! But I can’t remember where!

You should have kept a record of where you wrote them!

Aagh!

Is that your password? Four letters?

AAGH!

 

(They pause to lock the parcel delivery man’s vehicle and pass his keys in through his letter box)

 

I’m just not suited to modern living!

Oh you are!

No, seriously, I’m worried! We’re moving to a cashless society!

You were already operating a cashless regime when we used to go to the local…

HA HA! I mean, all these changes…all this technology…all these passwords.

I know, I know…

What will I be like when the robots take over?

Is there breaking news? I haven’t checked my phone…

Huh?

ROBOTS?
Well, no, NOT NOW…I mean in the future.

Oh thank God, we have enough on our plate now.

I won’t be able for THE ROBOTS…

Of course you will! And hey, we’ll have a robot to drive us to and from the pub!

 

(They pause to ponder how tolerant a robot driver would be of the pub bore if taking him home from the local)

 

We did a good deed there…

Huh?

Getting Mick, the parcel delivery guy, into his house safely just now. Hopefully he’ll have a good sleep…

Ah sure those guys, they’re all wrecked!

They’re making a few bob…good luck to them!

Absolutely! They’re all so nice…they’re good fellas!

Hey, THAT’S IT! I’m back off to the phone shop!

Huh?

GOODFELLAS! THAT was my favourite movie of all time!