Barstool Boyos – 19th of November

Stephen Kenny, Ronan Keating, Lady Gaga…and fowl play!

Wow! What a man! I knew he’d be proven right…in the end!

Who?

He had his doubters. They said he was too young, too inexperienced…they even sneered at him!

Who?

Now he has the last laugh!

WHO?

He just wanted to do things his own way…

WHO?

Stephen, who else! Our great leader…the man we’ve entrusted to lead us to better days!

Stephen Donnelly? Well, fair enough…

NOT STEPHEN DONNELLY! STEPHEN KENNY!

Oh…HIM.

Yes, HIM! What a win over Luxembourg.

Hold on a minute…you’re a populist! A few months ago you were calling for his head…

Stephen Donnelly’s head?

No, Stephen Kenny’s! You were fuming about him!

Was I?

When we couldn’t win a match or even score a goal! You said Daniel O’Donnell would do better!

I DID NOT!

YOU DID!

Mind you, he knows his soccer…

Who?

Daniel O’Donnell!

Oh for God’s sake! The point is, you lambasted Stephen Kenny at every corner!

Not just corners…at free-kicks too!

(Editor: ‘Okay guys, we really need to discuss your contract…’)

Okay, at every turn!

I may have advised caution…think of me as a Roscommon version of Liam Brady.

When Luxembourg beat us in March, you said Kenny should be sacked immediately!

Did I?

You said he should be sent into the wilderness!

The wilderness! That reminds me, did you watch any of the Labour Party Conference?

Don’t change the subject! You said Kenny couldn’t manage a chicken farm!

No, your mind is playing chicks with you…sorry, I mean tricks! I was merely egging you along. Your brain is scrambled.

Well if you really want to get into bad puns, when it comes to Kenny, you’ve been guilty of fowl play!

 

(They pause to check if Daniel O’Donnell is in the line-up for the new series of I’m A Celebrity; he isn’t)

 

Did you see that diva on the Late Late?

You’re too hard on Ryan!

Not Ryan…the preening guest with the abundance of self-confidence…

Ah, Ronan Keating…

No! Lady Gaga!

So Ronan’s NOT a diva?

Well, he may be the male equivalent of one! I think a diva was originally female-specific.

Er…would that be sexist?

Oh don’t start me on that debate!

 

(They pause due to persistent incoming calls from suspected scam artists, which they don’t answer)

 

What an amazing display of authority, intelligence, skill and power!

Are we back to the Labour Conference and Alan ‘AK47’ Kelly?
NO! Ireland v the All Blacks!

Oh yeah…amazing!

They did us proud…just like Stephen Kenny’s men!

Yeah, the boys in green did us proud!

Not so!

Huh?

It was the boys in ORANGE!

Oh yeah…those jerseys! So our orange men did us proud then! Three cheers for the Orangemen!

 

(They pause, cough awkwardly, then quickly move on)

 

I’m pretty sure ‘diva’ is used now for both men and women…

Thought so!

So perhaps there WERE two divas on the Late Late after all!

THREE actually!

Huh?

There were two ‘ordinary’ divas – Lady Gaga and Ronan – and a world class diva! Albeit a national treasure too!

Oh of course…

Both: The great Eamon Dunphy!