Barstool Boyos – 16th of July

Euro 2020 finale, Ivana’s win, and when Garda Hugh met Professor Dolores…

 

Oh wasn’t it wonderful?

Magic!

Such thrills and spills!

Yeah!

Such drama!

Yeah!

The main players, they were so fascinating!

Agreed!

I was glued to the TV coverage!

Same here!

I love the pundits too!

Yeah, it’s all clichés with them, but I guess it’s all part of the fun…

Still, all that analysis! Tactics! Who’s going well, who’s in front, who will take the glory…

MAGIC!

And in the end, the big prize goes to I…

ITALY!

Huh?

ITALY!

No, Ivana. Ivana Bacik! She won the Dublin Bay South by-election…it was SO exciting!

But I thought you were talking about the Euros?

THE EUROS? Oh we’d need to do a book on the Euros!

 

(They pause to ponder on the enormity of what they’re facing: significantly less football on TV, for a few weeks at least)

 

Did you see that main video of Professor Dolores Cahill?

The by-election candidate who wanted to make a citizen’s arrest…of Garda Hugh?

YEP!

As I understand it, she wanted to get into the count centre but was denied access because she wasn’t wearing a mask?

YEP!

She tried everything to get in that door!

YEP!

She proceeded to argue about constitutional rights for over an hour?

YEP!

She summoned a car, so she could ‘arrest’ Garda Hugh and take him to the station?

YEP!

And Garda Hugh reacted with a mixture of calmness and witty responses?
YEP!

No, didn’t see it…but I heard a bit about it!

Aagh!

 

(They pause to check their phones to see if there are any more online videos of Garda Hugh in exchanges with Professor Dolores)

 

But you did watch the match?

Oh yeah!

Your verdict?

A win for Italy!

No, I’m not asking you for a prediction now – a few days AFTER the match – I’m wondering what you made of it?

Well, it was pretty tense…

Yeah…

A deserved win for Italy, but fair play to England…

Yep!

I’ll miss the big stars…

Me too! They have such balance, such poise, such talent!

Yeah! Damien Duff arched back in his chair, such balance! Super-cool Richard Sadlier. Wise old Liam Brady…

I meant the players!

Not to mention Rio Ferdinand on the BBC…

Don’t mention Rio!

 

(They pause to calculate how many days there are before the new Premier League season starts)

 

In fairness, it was a great ould win…

For Italy?

No! For Ivana! Ivana Bacik!

Oh yeah…

She has star quality…

I suppose, if you’re that much into politics…

As for Professor Dolores…

The lady who clashed with Garda Hugh outside the Dublin Bay count centre?

Yeah…

Ah now she’s some cookie…

Yeah, she got her moment in the limelight, but the honours went to Ivana…she’s the new TD.

In fairness, Ivana’s been knocking on the door a long time…

Yeah, so was Professor Dolores…but Garda Hugh was never going to let her in!