The ups and downs of a busy weekend…
You look tired, my friend…
I am tired…but happy!
Why are you tired? Overworked? Been road running? Up all night watching Telly Bingo?
No! I’m tired because I was on the go all weekend…up and down, over and back. Every muscle is sore!
And I’m happy, because I saw some GAA, and I also made a modest few bob!
(They pause and watch as neighbours who can’t attend GAA matches in big venues queue outside a local bank)
So you’re tired from being up and down and over and back all weekend?
Yeah…plus I was already tired by Friday evening, after all those early-morning school runs!
You need to relax! Did the Late Late Show not help?
Oh yeah, I slept through most of it! Actually, I don’t think it’s on late at night any more…
THE LATE LATE NOT ON LATE AT NIGHT? Are you okay?
No, not the Late Late, Telly Bingo! I think it’s on in the afternoon!
Oh I’m far too busy to watch daytime TV!
Anyways, you saw some Gaelic football?
Pearses v Clann?
The local livestreaming, or on TG4?
I saw it, I had a good view!
(They pause and try to recall their favourite episodes of Telly Bingo)
That football on Sunday was poor!
No, Pearses v Clann was excellent!
Well, except for the finish…
The finish? But it was a scrappy winning goal, nothing special…
No, not Pearses v Clann, I’m talking about the soccer in The Aviva. Boring! Except for the Finnish! They did well, we were poor…
Oh, THAT! Yeah, and the media told us the Stephen Kenny era would be great…
I suppose we shoudn’t rush to judgement.
Although sometimes it’s good to be decisive! Like that Judge Judy on TV, she’s great…
I thought you don’t watch daytime TV?
Oh well, it was different during the lockdown!
(They pause and hum the theme music from Telly Bingo)
So, up and down and over and back all weekend…what were you at?
I was lifting…delivering…providing a service…climbing!
Very strange! And you still got time to see Clann v Pearses?
Yes! And St. Brigid’s v Boyle and the games on Saturday!
But…the ‘no spectators’ ruling? I don’t understand…
I was providing an essential service!
Mmnn…let me try another angle. Okay, straight to the point: Did you by any chance see the photo of that chap on the huge ladder in the graveyard?
Ahem! Go on…
He put a ladder up against the wall in the cemetery so he could see into the Hyde!
Yeah…in fact, I heard a rumour that there were several ladders in use at pitches over the weekend…‘accommodating’ fans…
Lovely…of course many people own ladders.
Oh no, I heard some Del Boy-type actually had the cheek to hire out ladders, he was targeting football-starved diehards…
Wow! How entrepreneurial!
More like opportunist, greedy! This Del ‘boyo’ saw some football himself, made a few bob…and was up and down and over and back all weekend!
GUILTY AS CHARGED!