Not everyone engaging with Tinder and related ‘dating sites’ is in the line of our columnist’s fire this week, but she is strongly of the view that people should ‘put on their glad rags’ and go out and meet men and women the old-fashioned way…face to face!
Tinder has been in the news quite a bit lately, what with a disappointed 36-year-old separated mum ringing in to Ryan Tubridy’s radio show last week to tell the world how her first experience of using the online dating app has left her feeling ‘naive and gullible,’ going on to further explain how she was ‘shocked after meeting a man on the app who abandoned contact with her after they slept together three weeks into their relationship,’ apparently saying how she was unaware of the so-called ‘sharks,’ that are currently circulating in dating waters and had, very helpfully, rung Tubs to let people know that she was peed off. You see, apparently her hero has dropped off her radar but is still on the prowl for women on Tinder. Oh he’s a right brat now, isn’t he!
Now first of all let me say this to that irate caller, I feel for you Tinderella, I really do love, but the fact of the matter is…You’ve been Catfished, get a clue and move on…Romeo certainly has! Also, you’re right, you are definitely ‘naïve and gullible’ if you went out with a man you found on a dating app and then genuinely thought he wasn’t going to be interested in just having casual sex.
I mean, anyone who thinks that Tinder and other dating apps are going to be exclusively full of Prince and Princess Charmings looking for their happily ever after really need to have a good old reality check. In my understanding, (I could be wrong), dating apps are mainly useful for those who are looking for an always available, regret free, no strings attached booty call. Mind you, there could be a thousand reasons why this bloke heartlessly dumped this woman…so my advice to her is just pick one, any one, then move on and stop ringing radio shows to air your dirty laundry so publicly because it’s hardly good PR for attracting the next guy now is it? If you don’t I’m afraid I am getting a clear image of you ten years from now wallowing alone as a sad modern day Miss Havisham decaying in your raggy dress and pearls until the end of time.
Personally I’ve never been on Tinder and have never had the need to use dating apps because, luckily, I’m married to my soul-mate and we met when he approached me in a garage forecourt…now if that doesn’t sound sleazy I don’t know what does but it was all above board I can assure you; he thought I looked like I needed assistance with my car and, being a gentleman, approached me. For the record; I didn’t…need assistance, that is.
However, I do know quite a few friends and one family member who uses the Tinder app and who have gone out on a few dates, some good; some leading to second dates and one or two disasters that brought us out in hysterics, however they tell me they all feel the same as Tubridy’s caller did, i.e. duped! So, my question is, why use these apps you lazy, crazy lot? Why look for men and women on dating apps that appear to list the Who’s Who of Creepy Ville? Why depend on a site that pulls your personal information from your social media page to create your profile and then effectively tells you who ‘matches’ your particulars encouraging you to ‘swipe right’ if you find their selection pleasing and ‘swipe left’ if you think they’re Quasimodo? Who does that? People who do not know and trust their own mind and their own judgement…that’s who!
I mean, if a guy is sitting on his fat ass on the sofa all day long, or even sitting emotionless on the loo, because this is how impersonal some dating apps are, trying to sell himself like some cheap pimp patrolling the docks then there shouldn’t be enough bullsxxt, dinner dates, polite conversation or even copious amounts of lovey-dovey text messages in the whole world to make you his hoe dear. I’m sorry but someone needs to tell it to you like it is. If a person is making up a load of codswallop about themselves in order to make sure it fits with what you want to hear, then folks, it’s clear to me they don’t want a lasting relationship they just want to sit back and count their conquests; end of.
So, get up off your asses folks, put on your glad rags and go out and meet people the old-fashioned way…face to face; and while you’re doing that, let me enlighten you about some (not all) of those loser trolls, stalkers and creepers who may hide behind dating sites.
There is a massive difference between a person in real life and a person on Tinder. He/she has taken about a gazillion selfies before he/she’s Instagrammed or Photoshopped and finally posted the one that makes him look like Brad Pitt and her look like a Bond girl.
So what if he/she ‘swiped right’ on your profile photo, get a grip and understand he/she’s ‘swiped right’ on fifty other profiles…he/she’s a shallow git who likes you ‘cos you’re arm candy material and I’ll bet he/she hasn’t read even one single line of your chat because, guess what, it’s not your brain or your dazzling personality that interests them!
Some people only use Tinder or dating apps for validation or to relieve boredom. These are the ones whose insatiable egos constantly require massaging, meaning they engage with others and tot up their positive ‘swipes,’ as a way of measuring their personal ‘market value.’ It makes them feel popular to have such a range of potential eejits they can choose at will and of course when the mood takes them they’ll dial for a booty call and they’ll keep dialing until they snare some silly sap who is willing to drop over and become their ‘fun buddy’ to ease their boredom of a winter’s night… and nobody is any the wiser.
However, if anyone is thinking of hoping a stint on a dating app will sort out their love life, it would be worth their while to note that, according to research firm GlobalWebIndex (GWI), it’s a worrying fact – well I’d find it worrying – that 30 per cent of Tinder users surveyed are actually married and 12 per cent surveyed are in a relationship. Now I am not for one second suggesting that those users who are ‘spoken for’ are looking for deep, unmeaningful sex, God no, they’re not big fat cheaters; I’d imagine they’re simply ‘browsing,’ doing research and, ahem, keeping abreast of their social skills through ‘interacting’ with other like-minded tech savvy individuals. How industrious of them.
Look, I’m not saying that all those who participate on Tinder or other dating apps are merely only hooked on engaging in orgies; that is not the case, and I’m sure there are genuine users who want nothing more than to settle down to a life of bliss, creating the quintessential nuclear family; also I’m sure there are other users who just want to make friends and see dating apps as a bona fide social outlet to test the water when it comes to their dating skills. Nothing wrong with either of those reasons.
Mind you, ya don’t have to go through the whole rigmarole of joining these sites and putting yourself through the emotional wringer to try and find out how to make a success of that first date! Not at all, I can sum it up for ya in one line…Just turn up naked; oh, and bring wine!